Kindness Starts with You: The Art of Self-Compassion
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I'm useless' (or insert any other self deprecating description) or "why didn't I do that differently?' It’s so common to look back at situations and be incredibly hard on ourselves, replaying situations over and over. I recognise this in myself and see this in so many of my clients — we’re often our own worst critics.
That’s where self-compassion comes in.
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer to a good friend. Imagine your friend is going through a tough time. Would you judge them? Probably not. You’d comfort them, remind them they did their best, and encourage them to keep going. So why don’t we treat ourselves the same way?
Hindsight Bias and the Need for Self-Compassion
It’s easy to fall into “hindsight bias”— when we look back at a situation and feel like we should have known better. The truth is, we’re all doing the best we can with the information and energy we have at the time. We don't wake up in the morning and say 'I'm going to make bad choices today', we make the choices based on what we have available. We only know differently after because we have more information available than we did at the time. Self-compassion allows us to accept our perfectly imperfect human limitations and move forward with kindness.
How to Practice Self-Compassion: 5 Key Tips
Practice Mindfulness Start noticing how you talk to yourself, especially when things don’t go as planned. Being present and aware of how things are for you right here right now, helps you catch that inner critic before it spirals.
Use Kind Self-Talk Language is powerful. When your inner critic shows up, ask yourself, "Would I say this to my best friend?" If not, it’s time to reframe your thoughts with kindness.
Prioritise Self-Care Self-care is essential for building the resources we need to navigate life. Whether it’s getting enough rest or doing something you enjoy to build on the energy reserves, taking care of your body and mind is key.
Forgive Yourself We all make mistakes. The important part is to learn from them and move forward with more compassion for yourself.
Seek Support Sometimes, talking to someone else makes all the difference. Whether it’s a friend, a loved one, or a professional counsellor, reaching out can help you cultivate self-compassion.
Why Self-Compassion Matters
Self-compassion isn’t about being selfish or indulgent — it’s about recognising your worth and treating yourself with the care you deserve. If you’re struggling with self-compassion, you’re not alone, and there is help available.
If you're looking for online or in person counselling services in Fareham, Gosport and the surrounding areas, or just need someone to talk to about being kinder to yourself, feel free to reach out. You don't have to work it all out yourself, you're not alone. You’re worth it.
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